Illustration by Sonja Kresowaty

It’s happening.

And I am so excited.

My Travelling Companion and I reached Salt Spring yesterday afternoon and time is now moving both heart-racingly fast and excruciatingly slowly. How can I possibly get everything done in time? And how can I possibly wait so long? After a nearly two-year engagement it is surreal to me that all the pieces are moving now, that we will be decorating our reception venue tomorrow, that cupcakes and catering are a go and my gown is in my future in-laws’ closet and my parents and sisters are here (here!) and we’ve picked up our marriage license and told our officiant what we want her to say and that any remaining preparation must fit into the next two days (two years of prep into two days!) and that after all of this hoopla life will go on as before.

Because life doesn’t stop or make accommodations for people’s weddings. Though both the sun and the well-wishes of friends and co-workers have been beaming down on me for the past few weeks, there is, in the words of Bob Marley, “so much trouble in the world”. Trouble that jeopardizes our environment and humanity. Trouble that is so much bigger than my current biggest problem, which is that I have had an allergic reaction to a necklace I was wearing and my neck is now covered in hives (which won’t look nice in wedding photos, sigh). In the midst of such uncertainty and grief and violence and pain, how can the wedding of two privileged people possibly be relevant or significant? How can this event, into which we (and our families) have poured so much time and money and energy possibly be worthy?

I like to think that celebrating love is worthwhile. I like to think that if everyone could have the love and generosity that I have received the world would be a better place. I like to think that some traditions bring us closer to our families, and that this makes them worth observing. While preparing for our big crazy day has been stressful in many different ways, offers of help and congratulations have poured in from all directions and this is both gratifying and humbling. People can be good, and it is important to know that.

We will not be getting married in a world that is as we would like it to be. There is suffering and there is danger and greed and selfishness. This doesn’t end because we get married. After all of this hoopla is over life will go on as before.

Except it will be different because it will be shared. Which is just so nice to think about.